Sharky

Questions that Sharky gets a lot

Q: What's a pilot fish?

A: There are two answers to that question. One is the Mother Nature version: Pilot fish are small fish that swim just ahead of sharks. When the shark changes direction, so do the pilot fish. When you watch underwater video of it, it looks like the idea to change direction occurred simultaneously to shark and pilot fish.

Thing is, sharks go pretty much anywhere they want, eating pretty much whatever they want. They lunge and tear and snatch, but in so doing, leave plenty of smorgasbord for the nimble pilot fish.

The IT version: A pilot fish is someone who swims with the sharks of enterprise IT -- and lives to tell the tale. Just like in nature, a moment's inattention could end the pilot fish's career. That's life at the reef.

Q: Are all the Sharky stories true?

A: Yes, as best we can determine.

Q: Where do the Sharky tales come from?

A: From readers. Sharky just reads and rewrites and basks in the reflected glory of you, our readers. It is as that famous fish-friendly philosopher Spinoza said, "He that can carp in the most eloquent or acute manner at the weakness of the human mind is held by his fellows as almost divine."

Q: Do I have to write my story in Sharky-ese?

A: No. Not at all. Just be sure to give us details. What happened, to whom, what he said, what she said, how it all worked out. If Sharky likes your tale of perfidy, heroism or just plain weirdness at your IT shop, he will supply his particular brand of Shark snark.

Q: I've got a really funny story, but I could get fired if my old trout of a boss found out I told you. How confidential is what I send to Sharky?

A: We don't publish names: yours, your boss's, your trout's, your company's. We try to file off the serial numbers, though there's no absolute guarantee that someone who lived through the incident won't recognize himself. Our aim is to share the outrageous, knee-slapping, milk-squirting-out-your-nose funny tales that abound in the IT world, not to get you fired. That would not be funny.

Q: How do I get each new Shark Tank tale emailed to me?

Easy. Subscribe to the newsletter.

Q: Where are the Sharkives?

Tales of old can be found in Sharky's archive.

Cheers!

Cheers!

Here’s to nonstandard browsing habits.

Throwback Thursday: I’ll show you rude

Throwback Thursday: I’ll show you rude

It’s a chain reaction.

That sounds much better

That sounds much better

But it might be even better without that darn I at the beginning.

But why would you want another tie?

But why would you want another tie?

Must be the principle of the thing.

Memory-Lane Monday: We’re monitoring the situation

Memory-Lane Monday: We’re monitoring the situation

Screen waxes on, waxes off.

I’d say you need another cup

I’d say you need another cup

The humiliation may have been worse than the scalding.

Throwback Thursday: Ultimatum

Throwback Thursday: Ultimatum

‘I’m sorry, Dave, I can’t do that.’

Wayback Wednesday: When you said ‘gone for good,’ I only heard ‘good’

Wayback Wednesday: When you said ‘gone for good,’ I only heard ‘good’

And I have a very different definition of ‘irretrievable.’

Unclear on the concept

Unclear on the concept

We might have to wait for Web 4.0

Now let me guess your password

Now let me guess your password

I’m going with 123456.

Flashback Friday: Trial by error

Flashback Friday: Trial by error

What you don’t ask can hurt you.

Throwback Thursday: Let’s get an expert opinion

Throwback Thursday: Let’s get an expert opinion

Was he on vacation or at a seminar on blame-shifting?

Crossed wires

Crossed wires

And why didn’t you think of looking there?

Yeah, that sounds right

Yeah, that sounds right

And yeah, something is definitely defective.

The old switcheroo

The old switcheroo

Tell the client it’s art, no extra charge.

The wrong way

The wrong way

At least he remembers something.

Throwback Thursday: Motivation

Throwback Thursday: Motivation

How about never? Does never work for you?

Attention-getter

Attention-getter

Where there’s smoke …

January in Mississippi can be nice

January in Mississippi can be nice

But if you need me, I’ll be in France.

Memory-Lane Monday: Write once, use never

Memory-Lane Monday: Write once, use never

Hey, don’t worry about it; in a few years, no one will know what a DVD is.

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